Holocron Entry 8

My mum is hogging up the toilet so i can't take my night-time bathe like I do every night. I'm still waiting for her to come out but she is taking awfully long. I think I'll blabber about today at school til my mum's done in there.

I got ack my POA test paper today and I scored a perfect 20 (Full marks)!!! I've never scored so well in a test before and I was like totally overwhelmed with joy, man! And the day kept getting better cos after that I went for art club with Christy, HX and C.

I used to be enemies with C but I think she's okay now. She's still a little stuck up and boastful and insane but I can believe it lessened to tolerable levels.

We helped paint the pillar on the 2nd floor of the library. It's turning out nice I think. We aren't done yet though.

Other stuff that happened today.. it kept raining. Through the weekends til today with short breaks of sunshine (real short) and mostly downpour. My Humanities teacher said it's the monsoon season and due to global warming. Hmm, I wanna save the Earth.

The weathers great though. It's really cooling and the temperature can drop to about 26 degrees. Not low enough for people living in areas with the four seasons but it's cool. There are people in my class who can't stand the cold though.. Some of my friends were wearing jackets since last week. It has almost become their school uniforms!

I really like the weather. Even now, while I'm typing this, it's drizzling outside, in the darkness of the night.

Hmm. My mum's still not done. What shall we talk about??

Oh! I suspect Wednesday will be another half-day for my school. It's a day before Chinese New year, some spring festival Chinese celebrate. My parents are _ _ _ _ _ _ _ so they do get involved with a little of the preparations. I'm just well, in between. I'm more Westernized.

Alright, my mum is out. I'll go take my shower.
Til next time, folks!

My mum's yelling for no reason.... 0__o

Edited on 13 February 2010: To keep my friends identities unknown.. Whahahahahahaaaaa....

Holocron Entry 7

I'm so glad the Common test weeks is finally over. Now I a little bit more free time after school--

Dude, I'm not gonna revise some more crap when I get home at about 6pm after VA Program?!! I have a life. And since this is my life, I choose when I wanna do homework, when I want to! I need my TV, computer, comics, art and Star Wars and you ain't ever gonna take 'em away!!

And that's for you, lousy principal and vice principal and other teachers who contributed to the decision of making the VA Program start in January instead of APRIL! Just because last year's Sec 4's scored the highest number of passes ever for our school, those fucked-ups was us to do better... By making us stay back everyday?!!!

Seriously. We, students are humans, not robots! Are they blind and heartless?!

Any way, I got to see some of my test papers and marks before the end of the week for some subjects. So here's how I did..

I got a 21/30 for my compo for English and my English teacher was telling the class to see my paper as reference.. WOW, indeed. And since this is a private blog, I can boast about myself when I want!! I'm actually the person who scored the 2nd highest for English last year! Woooooooooo yea!!! And the teacher liked my compo. It's about a time when you playing a prank on someone and the prank went horribly wrong.. ANd the victim got injured badly.

The summary of my story is:
Joshua wanted to play a prank on a classmate, Jordon in the canteen. (Check out my description of Jordon!! I believe I did it quite well!) And I agreed so we unscrewed the bolts of Jordon's bench and Jordon fell over. (Check out my dying person description! A little gory but still okay for kids.) And he was admitted into hospital and the doc said he can't stop bleeding. (Check out my description about the author's feelings!) Somehow, the unscrewed bolts ended up in my pocket when my mum (in the story) confronted me and was about to start screaming.. I ended it there, with me about to get in deep shit.

I thought my compo was gonna suck cos the school give us only 45 minutes for this test. Yes, I'm not kidding. So I had to scrambled my brains for a good story and this was the best I could come up with.

Other stuff, I found out the marks of my Physics paper. I would think it's a bit ironic (do I use this word here??).. Cos I scored the highest in class because Hutomo's (the top student) test paper was missing. Ummmm... I really suck at Science so I don't know how this happened. Hutomo the brainiac, not me. (Although I'm really good at English and POA in my school).

I think that's all for updates about the weekdays.

Today, I woke up at 11.30am and had POA tuition at 12.15pm to 2.10pm. My teacher went off 5 minutes earlier. Cool.

That's all for now. Bye.

Holocron Entry 6

Hehehee...

Well, I'm _ _ _ _ _ _ _ but I don't speak the language. I know only English so I tend to be better than my schoolmates in it. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ is freaking hard to learn and I actually did study it when I was in primary school but I had the opportunity to drop it when I was in Sec 2. Of course, I grasp that opportunity! I remembered failing like horribly in my last three years of primary school life.

I do plan to live in America though. America has so many Star Wars fans (from my opinion) and people voice out, which is really cool. And their movies and television programs are done up real well. May be because the characters the actors protray speak proper english and they tell high-class jokes.

Well, end of advertisment, the Common Test week in my school had started and this is what the schedule kind of looks like:

Mon: English and Social Studies
Tues: POA (Principles of accounts)
Wed: Physics and Chemistry
Thu: Maths
Fri: Design and Technology.

So we are gonna take Science tomorrow and I'm supposed to revise but I feel so exhausted. Earlier today, I had school (duh..) and supplementary class. And I really wrecked my brains in humanities supplementary today.

We had to do a difficult revision paper without notes.. And no one told my class this so it was quite a surprise. And I didn't study for it so I kind of had to try and absorb everything that the teacher said in like 1 sec per word (or something closer)..

That's why I'm mentally exhausted. I read my notes about 1 and a half times but I can feel that nothing went in. and I'm getting more frustrated every minute!! I wanna go to bed too...

School kind of got hellish this year and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

I'm going now. Peace out!

Edited on 13 February 2010: A huge chuck of this post has been removed so that I don't become a flying blanket with a poop squirting machine attached behind. LOL.

Holocron Entry 5

I'm feeling rather down.. The VA Program is killing me. I should be asleep now to save up energy (during the whole weekend) for the coming week. But I discovered that I've lost all interest in studying that I practically don't care any more.

I feel that I've let many people down with my new thinking. I know it's not right. But I can't do it any more. I'm just so pooffed out that nothings matters more than my art nowadays. The week was so painful.

So much homework, no time for my favourite movies and TV programmes, no time for being happy, no time for drawing comics, no time for anything. I'm starting to show a "heck care" attitude towards homework and learning.

I hate the VA Program. It's so tiring that I find it a pain to listen to lessons in school with out fidgetting and doodling. I can't stand it any more. It's tearing me apart inside out.

My mind is in a reck. I'm afraid that my creativity will disappear forever. I don't want to study more than 7 hours a day!!! Why are they forcing all the students in Sec 4?!?! Please. I have a life.

I have this very precious life that I care and love so much. This life gave me the opportunity to create fantasies and draw my feelings and show the world what I've got. Please don't fill my mind with studies and studies and more useless studies..

I'm about to breakdown and turn over to the dark side. But I just won't. This VA Progran is taking everything away from me..

I was supposed to study today but I just can't. I know I sound like an idiot cos most of you study longer hours than me. But this is my life!!! I want to enjoy and live it to the fullest my own way!!

I sound so ridicious here. I also accidentally embarrassed myself in front of Joshua. It's torturing me mentally that I feel like running away from everything and suck myself into my fantasy far far away. And run there and hide forever.

But I can't. There's no escape. The walls are sealed and caving in.

I have a Common Test week next week where the school's going to test us what we have learnt last year and this few weeks of term 1. I'm gonna fail. I can feel it. It's my gut feeling that's usually right.

Tomorrow I'll try to study. I'll try.

Mustn't lose hope. My creativity won't be pushed to the unreachable depths of my consciousness to be forgotten forever, it's live as part of my living entity and it'll never fade.

I'll never stop drawing. Never. The minute I do, I'll no longer be who I am.

Holocron Entry 4

I was a little too hyper today in school. It's cos when I get sleepy or bored, I would get really hyper to make myself stay awake and have something to occupy myself with. I hope I didn't scare off anyone in school today.

And I understood a little bit more Chemistry in Science Value Added Program/ Supplementary Classes today~!! YEAH!

Funny Star Wars stuff I found on Facebook by awesome people:

"Why is there a lightsaber in your locker?".. Why isnt there one in yours..
~LOL!! I found this like soo cool.. :D

I want Lightsaber fighting to become an olympic sport!
~Yesh! I totally agree with you!

Meeting up in large places and having lightsaber battles.
~I always wanted to do that!! Thanks for keeping the dream alive!

Petition to change the relationship status from 'Single' to 'Han Solo'.
~Hell, Facebook really should for us fans!!

I WANNA PLAY A MASSIVE HIDE AND SEEK GAME IN MY SCHOOL AT MIDNIGHT
(Sorry, it came in caps.)
~It'll be really cool if that could happen.

But it's be even cooler it my school would host a MASS LIGHTSABER FIGHT FOR SENIORS ON THE LAST DAY OF OUR LAST SCHOOL YEAR!!

That's all for today.

P.S. I wish today could be a half day like yesterday. Cos yesterday was a hell lot of fun. Joshua and I sat on the swings after school at 11.30am and then we ate ice cream before swinging again. And my school practically owned the playground. It's for the public, I know.. But many students from my school were at the playgroud that I believed we chased away the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ kids (nearby Primary school). It was a helluvah time, man!!!

Holocron Entry 3

Chemistry homework has killed me. It's so diffucult.. I just.. I just suck at it. If I don't understand Science by the O'Levels, I'm finished. I can't do what I love.

It's true. My teachers, well some of them, told my class that to do those popular courses in the polytechnic, you'll have to pass Science even if the course has nothing to do with it.

I'm really so bad at Science. This is actually one of the few things I hate myself for. I usually love myself to bits so Science really piss me off.

I try. I really do. I spent about an hour and a half sometime last week revising my Chemistry. And I thought I finally understood Chapters 16 and 17 (the topics that the teachers in my school were covering for the Common test next week). And when I got the homework...

I realised how dumb I was to think I understood. In reality, I just don't know how to apply what I memorised. I can memorise stuff and spit them back out. But when you need to use a bit of common sense with it, that's where I fail. I just.. I dunno. My brain doesn't connect.. It's like memory and understanding are two different islands, each on the other sides of the Earth.

I wish I were smarter. Just a bit more smarter. Just a bit. I'll be real contented if I could.

I'm fuming right now. And I'm amazed at how fast I'm typing this. Wow. But if I fail my Science. Everything I do will be for nothing. The fact that I've never actually passed with average marks in Secondary School is bothering me.

It would be near impossible to suddenly pass now and get better cos the time I have to the big exams is limited. I just wish I were smarter.. Just a bit.

And while I was fuming.. I thought of a back-up plan. Of course, I could do manga drawing cos I know I'm rather good at it. And perhaps I'll pick up guitar as another back-up.

And my tuition teacher is wanting to much from me. She doesn't know what marks I'm scoring for my Science. She expects me to get an A1 for Science and pass other subjects really well. Look, I'm not in class 4E3 for nuts. 4E3 is the last class in the whole Express level. And to me, being near the top always, is more than I can ever hope for. I'm really glad for my nerdity that made it all possible. Cos I even won $200 cash for being in the top 15% in the whole level. That's more than I can hope for. Really.

But Science is going to make all that for nothing if I can't understand and apply it in test papers.

Which brings me to another problem. My school keeps making us stay back everyday, (literally everyday) for that VA Program I told you all about in my previous post, that I'm really physically pooped out after reaching home at around 6pm. I want to revise but my body won't have it.

And I have a Common test next week!! How am I ever going to find time to revise and stuff if I will fall asleep anywhere. I'm not kidding. I fell asleep changing into casual clothing at home earlier today and on the excursion bus last Friday.

I thought that sports would be the answer because that's what everyone says, but I think not. Sports is going to make you more exhausted and take up time that could be used in other ways, more important ways.

I going to have to think of something.. I will have do before it's too late...

See y'all in a while. At least I think it's be a while.

Sigh... Science killed me again.

Holocron Entry 2

I just came back home from school. Nowadays, my classmates and everyone else in Secondary 4 have to stay back after school for something called Value Added Program. It's something like supplementary classes and I find them tiring but okay.

Joshua and I have talked out our problems with each other on Facebook and the matter of stalking is finally resolved. I'm so glad things are back to normal. Joshua has stopped following me around and we are still good friends.

A day or two ago, Christy, Joshua and I played around with the tiles on the scrabble board our school put up on the second floor.

It's so cool, isn't it. Credits go to Joshua for uploading the image on Facebook. It's a mixture of Star Wars and V but it's all Sci-Fi so it's still freaking awesome.

`

I'm really happy Joshua understood me and took it all in calmly. The results would have been devastating if he got angry (which he usually does). Our friendship might have hit a stepback but I believe we made it through like how best friends would.

`

School's been pretty normal recently. Had an excursion to the National Museum which sucked because I had no good friends with me during the trip as we had to go with our English classes. I really hate it now that I'm too good at English. I mean, I'm in Banded 1 while everyone else I talk to frequently and truthfully is in either Banded 2 or 3.

`

I'm quite sure it's because I'm reading too many books. All of which are Star Wars, of course. I told you Star Wars is an essential tool for survival. everythign about life, I learnt from Star Wars. Whenever I encounter a problem, I try to solve it like how Wedge or Corran or Jaina would solve it. Everything I do has a part of Star Wars in it.

`

Any way, did I tell you I have an obsession about Corran Horn? He is just so perfect!! CORRAN, YOU RULE! It's your biggest fan! It's me, Jaina4Eva!! Corran makes me want to learn and revise my Maths and Science because my mum says that X-Wing pilots did these two subjects. Corran is my inspiration! CORRAN~!! You are so AWESOME!!!!

`

Sigh.. My idiotic brother is annoying me again. He's so hyper today and I creeps me out. He enters and enters and enters again my bedroom, dribbling his football and yelling nonsensical trash and every while and then he would try to read what I'm typing.

`

Dude. This is not a private blog for nothing. Use your 12 year old brain! Don't tell me it's physically 12 but mentally 3.

`

I had to call him a fucker to make him shut up and play with himself (not so but still acceptable) quietly.

`

Other not-so-exciting things about school? Today is the first day of PE and let me tell you this. PE in my school is not like PE in your school. Fun, teamwork and nonsense. It's so not. It's torture. The teachers make us run and run and run for 1 hour?!! Yes. An hour! I felt like my lungs would have a rapture, ya know.

`

It's not my fault that I'm a nerd. I can't help it. I'm near the top for English and Principles of Accounts and occasionally, Humanities and Design and Technology. It's in my blood. I really fail at sports but I think I'm quite a good student in terms of intelligence. Being a nerd has it's ups and downs. Sometimes I think that being a nerd is the best thing in the world and sometimes I think it sucks.

`

PE is a time when I think the latter.

`

I'm actually coming up with a exercise plan. Like may be my mum and I could run around the park in the evening once or twice (twice is not really..) a week. It would help me get rid of all that extra energy that causes me to go to bed at 2am.

`

You must be saying "Holy cow?! Dude.. 2am?!!" while shaking your head.

`

Any way, school will be a half day tomorrow which means I get to come home at 11am! That's so cool isn't it! It's all thanks to last years batch of Sec 4s for scoring really freaking well in there O'Levels.

`

I'll post more in the future. May the Force be with you!

`

P.S. Sorry for all those annoying little (`)s. Blogger won't let me leave a line in between paragraphs.

Holocron Entry 1

Are people out to annoy me? Some bastard who was once a good friend is stalking me in school and my mum just said that she wants to start being mean to me? What the frak hell happened to these two idiots brains?

I'm more annoyed with the stalker now. I can't have a single school day where I have the right to choose where I wanna go, who to sit with during recess, when to be alone.

I admit that I'm anti-social. But all humans need space sometimes. I with that idiot, Joshua, will just go away. He follows me everywhere!! Seriously! It sucks.. He thinks that I consider him a friend. I used to, last year, when he gave me space and privacy to roam the school grounds alone when I please. As a friend (or ex-friend) he should know my personality.

I shouldn't have given him a birthday gift on the first day of school. I gave it to him as a FRIEND. F-R-I-E-N-D. He probably took it differently. And now, he stalks me. Everywhere. I have lost my freedom in school.

Because he keeps following me around, my popularity level and my "people are friendly and open to me" level had dropped as well. You know why? Because people always see us together and make assumptions that he is my boyfriend (fuck those losers) and that we are a couple. Sseriously?!!! People?! What is wron--

Everyone will think that. It's natural. It's just that I really regret giving him a gift. No only did I waste my mum's hard earned money but it ruined our friendship.

He was a really important friend once. Mainly because we have a lot of things in common. But I have never felt any special feeling what so ever towards him. We are just friends. Merely friends. Why can't he except the simple truth?

He will never be my kind of guy. He will never be my Luke Skywalker. He's not my type. I know that he has tried to change in hopes that I'll notice his passion and nonsense. But, look, we do not share that special feel.

I admit as well, that when we first met, I feel drawn to him. His blurness and simplicity and all that crap. But over time, as I got to know him better, I discovered things about him that I simply cannot live with.

And now, he is stalking me!! Fuck this..

I seriously hate this all. Why can't he stop?!! He overheard me complaining about his behaviour several times but he doesn't get it!! He's so stupid and perservering. I hate this. I still think about our friendship but lesser everyday. Why must he be this way?!

Even if he wants to date me or something, this is not the way to woo a girl!! You don't stalk them! I've pretty sure that I'm not the only girl that will feel the loss of her privacy and space, you know.

Boys are dumb.

And I can't believe I sound like those girls in the park yelling how dump boys and other stuff are. Humph!

I said that out of anger. Boys aren't dumb. Joshua is. He wasn't then, but now he is.

I wish things could go back to how they were. Joshua not stalking me, just having small talk when we happen to be in the same place. I miss those days.. I really do.

I feel very loss inside. The loss of lossing a good friend, who I can almost consider a best friend. I still have many friends but the feeling of many friends around you will never over ride the loss of one.

I'm not really mad at my mum now, since she came into my room a few seconds ago to apologise. She just had a bad night at work or something like that.

Man, I just went straight into ranting and screaming the shit out of myself without telling anyone who I am.

Well, I won't tell you my real name because I want my identity to remain secret so as not to offend the people that I will or have talked about here. The second name I use in my Facebook account is 'JainaSolo'. No spacings. Jaina's a really great character. If you haven't read the Expanded Universe Novels and comics but are a Star Wars fan, then you really should!!!

So I'm gonna be using the nickname 'Jaina4Eva'. I'm going to be 16 this year so I'm proud to say that I'm a senior in my school! People don't bow down to me but the feeling of being the eldest rocks! I'm in two school clubs, Art Club and Chess Club. Occasionally, I help the Infocomm Club take part (and sometimes and winning) manga competitions. I help out in the Library Club too. It's fun, being in so many clubs and all.

I'm completely obsessed with Star Wars. Even my subject teacher know! School mates call me 'Star Wars' because you know why and my real name is too long any way.

I'm currently reading Star Wars: The New Rebellion and have not started on the New Jedi Order and beyond that. (I know I'm slow, but I only became a fan 4 days before my 13th birthday?!) So far, I'm read everything in the New Republic era that comes before the New Rebellion. Well.. All except the Thrawn Trilogy. I can't find it in local bookstores and I'm really out of cash. If I had cash, I would have ordered it from where ever (and that includes shipment charges).

So you know the situation I'm in in school and nonsense like that. So.. Um. Wait for a moment. I need to think about more stuff to share with you.

I'm not really good at studies and I'm in the last class in my level but I'm getting better at some subjects, I think. There'll be a mini exam in the last week of this month so I think I might want to try revising something later tonight..

I think that that's all for now. So I'll be back for more ranting, yelling, giggling, everything (as it says by the name of my blog).

See yaa!!

Edit on 13 February 2010: Joshua, if you ever find this blog, please don't hate me, I was just speaking my mind. And I think we are cool now, right? Keep it friendly, yea??