Chemistry homework has killed me. It's so diffucult.. I just.. I just suck at it. If I don't understand Science by the O'Levels, I'm finished. I can't do what I love.
It's true. My teachers, well some of them, told my class that to do those popular courses in the polytechnic, you'll have to pass Science even if the course has nothing to do with it.
I'm really so bad at Science. This is actually one of the few things I hate myself for. I usually love myself to bits so Science really piss me off.
I try. I really do. I spent about an hour and a half sometime last week revising my Chemistry. And I thought I finally understood Chapters 16 and 17 (the topics that the teachers in my school were covering for the Common test next week). And when I got the homework...
I realised how dumb I was to think I understood. In reality, I just don't know how to apply what I memorised. I can memorise stuff and spit them back out. But when you need to use a bit of common sense with it, that's where I fail. I just.. I dunno. My brain doesn't connect.. It's like memory and understanding are two different islands, each on the other sides of the Earth.
I wish I were smarter. Just a bit more smarter. Just a bit. I'll be real contented if I could.
I'm fuming right now. And I'm amazed at how fast I'm typing this. Wow. But if I fail my Science. Everything I do will be for nothing. The fact that I've never actually passed with average marks in Secondary School is bothering me.
It would be near impossible to suddenly pass now and get better cos the time I have to the big exams is limited. I just wish I were smarter.. Just a bit.
And while I was fuming.. I thought of a back-up plan. Of course, I could do manga drawing cos I know I'm rather good at it. And perhaps I'll pick up guitar as another back-up.
And my tuition teacher is wanting to much from me. She doesn't know what marks I'm scoring for my Science. She expects me to get an A1 for Science and pass other subjects really well. Look, I'm not in class 4E3 for nuts. 4E3 is the last class in the whole Express level. And to me, being near the top always, is more than I can ever hope for. I'm really glad for my nerdity that made it all possible. Cos I even won $200 cash for being in the top 15% in the whole level. That's more than I can hope for. Really.
But Science is going to make all that for nothing if I can't understand and apply it in test papers.
Which brings me to another problem. My school keeps making us stay back everyday, (literally everyday) for that VA Program I told you all about in my previous post, that I'm really physically pooped out after reaching home at around 6pm. I want to revise but my body won't have it.
And I have a Common test next week!! How am I ever going to find time to revise and stuff if I will fall asleep anywhere. I'm not kidding. I fell asleep changing into casual clothing at home earlier today and on the excursion bus last Friday.
I thought that sports would be the answer because that's what everyone says, but I think not. Sports is going to make you more exhausted and take up time that could be used in other ways, more important ways.
I going to have to think of something.. I will have do before it's too late...
See y'all in a while. At least I think it's be a while.
Sigh... Science killed me again.
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