Holocron Entry 16

I promised you guys a proper intro about me.. So here goings nothing!!
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I'm Andriee JainaSolo (It's not my real name of course, duh!) and I'm gonna be 16 in 7 months!! Isn't that awesome?!! I love Star Wars! It's the best movie(s) ever made!! Sometimes I feel lonely because people don't understand me and I like to have fun all the time!
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The X-Wing series taught me many things that I can apply to daily life. I <3>

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I'm having best friend issues due to something unfortunately dumb that took place yesterday but I think that right now, my best buddy is Joshua! He's a Star Wars fan too. I still remember how we met: It was during a boring Design and Technology lesson and I was doodling TIE fighters on my worksheets while chatting with another awesome friend, Jordon, and Joshua pretty much borrowed my worksheet with the TIE fighter drawing on it and added a Death Star to my doodle.. We didn't become instant friends yet but I felt a connection to him.. I dunno but usually when I get this feeling I know that that person will become a best friend in the end. I had that same feeling with Denise and Amanda, two Primary school friends (who I sadly say have gotten distant with..) but we eventually because best friends.

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I had a mini argument with him a month back but everything is cool now. Cos I solved the issue diplomatically with no X-Wing squadrons and Mon Calamari cruisers attacking Joshua's house (at least I think I did not unknowingly send a fleet.. or did I??). So we're cool and he's the bestest friend any Star Wars fan could have!!

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Cos this is what we talk about on a random day:

*I'm taking down notes in class*

Joshua: WEDGE IS COOL!!

Me: CORRAN IS COOLER!

And we'll start arguing who is cooler!

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Or in PE lesson last year:

Teacher: *scolding us for not running in volleyball* So you want the world to explode than you'll run issit?!!

Me: *to Joshua* She didn't purchase a Death Star so the world can't explode!!

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I have other friends too but the list is to long to type out. So may be you'll get to find out more about me in future posts?? And I promise that no more vulgarities such as the F-word with appear in them.. Well, at least I try to vent my anger with proper words, I hope..

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Another important fact about me:

I BECAME A STAR WARS FAN 4 DAYS BEFORE MY 13TH BIRTHDAY!!

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Awesome isn't it! And I'm reading Heir to the Empire right now. It's an awesome book! Totally keeps me glued.

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So I'll be back here again soon.. Hopefully really really soon cos I wanna let you all know more about me! Cos I'm too AWESOME!! Lalalalalaaaaa... Hehehe! :D

P. S. Sorry about the ( ` )s in my posts. Blogger did not allow me to leave lines and I had to leave lines if not this whole post will look like a block of white paint on my mum's toilet bowl cover!

I prefer Chicken Wings to the Drumsticks!!

Holocron Entry 15

I'm back because I wanna announce something:

MY BLOG IS NO LONGER PRIVATE!!

Now anyone can see it! AWESOME, Isn't it?!

Yay! So now, yall can pop by anytime or slide pass it if you guys like. I'll try to use less vulgarities too. I also remembered that I did not do a proper introduction of myself on my first post due to some anger management problems, so I was thinking of doing one now.. after my lunch and homework and comic-drawing, I will.

Then I should have used to word later.. Well, whatever!

HAVE FUN ALL DAY FOLLOW BLOGGERS AND STAR WARS FANS AND MARTIANS AND WHAT-NOTS!!!!

Hehehe. I'm feeling a little happy today and I don't know why. :D

Holocron Entry 11

Edit on 13 February 2010: I want to make my blog with I've been hiding for more than a month, visible to all people on Earth, Mars and beyond!!

Holocron Entry 10

I feel so betrayed. Chinese New Year helped me see things from another perspective. A perspective that's so ugly and distasteful. It showed me the truth about everything and it's the ugly truth. I rather keep living the fantasy. Being happy and contented in my imaginary bubble. But sooner or later the truth will always come to light.

I don't even know who are my truth friends any more. I feel so lost. When I'm a need to help, no one comes. And Joshua whom has become my bestest friends after we forgave each other, I don't know he any more. It that his real personality? Was everything in school, all that fun and joy, all a lie? I thought he was like me, just different in a world of his own. Trying his best to fit in though he knows subconsciously that he never will. Never giving up and still putting a smile on his face when things go wrong..

Was that all a lie? I show people my true self because I want people to accept me for who I am and not for some mask that some people prefer to hide behind. Chinese New Year reveals everything. Everything unpleasant.

I try my best to fit it. I really do. My relatives know that I'm a bit different but that's just me. I have already tried covering myself in layer and layer and personalities that people prefer but what good does that do? You'll be all a lie? An illusion. Nothing. Just another passing face in the crowd. I just can't fit in. I've tried and I give up. I don't want to try any more.

If you can't except me for who i am then I suggest to leave me alone. I can be happy on my own. In my own world wrapped by a virtual piece of velvet that separates the truth from my fantasy.

If only people would understand how I feel and open up to me and be my true friend. That's all I can ever ask for to be part of what binds every sentient being together. Please don't leave me out. May be I will keep trying and one day, I will be able to touch the edges of that imaginary velvet and enter the realm and be excepted.

The Human race can be so cruel at times. But I believe that I'm not alone...

Holocron Entry 6

Hehehee...

Well, I'm _ _ _ _ _ _ _ but I don't speak the language. I know only English so I tend to be better than my schoolmates in it. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ is freaking hard to learn and I actually did study it when I was in primary school but I had the opportunity to drop it when I was in Sec 2. Of course, I grasp that opportunity! I remembered failing like horribly in my last three years of primary school life.

I do plan to live in America though. America has so many Star Wars fans (from my opinion) and people voice out, which is really cool. And their movies and television programs are done up real well. May be because the characters the actors protray speak proper english and they tell high-class jokes.

Well, end of advertisment, the Common Test week in my school had started and this is what the schedule kind of looks like:

Mon: English and Social Studies
Tues: POA (Principles of accounts)
Wed: Physics and Chemistry
Thu: Maths
Fri: Design and Technology.

So we are gonna take Science tomorrow and I'm supposed to revise but I feel so exhausted. Earlier today, I had school (duh..) and supplementary class. And I really wrecked my brains in humanities supplementary today.

We had to do a difficult revision paper without notes.. And no one told my class this so it was quite a surprise. And I didn't study for it so I kind of had to try and absorb everything that the teacher said in like 1 sec per word (or something closer)..

That's why I'm mentally exhausted. I read my notes about 1 and a half times but I can feel that nothing went in. and I'm getting more frustrated every minute!! I wanna go to bed too...

School kind of got hellish this year and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

I'm going now. Peace out!

Edited on 13 February 2010: A huge chuck of this post has been removed so that I don't become a flying blanket with a poop squirting machine attached behind. LOL.

Holocron Entry 5

I'm feeling rather down.. The VA Program is killing me. I should be asleep now to save up energy (during the whole weekend) for the coming week. But I discovered that I've lost all interest in studying that I practically don't care any more.

I feel that I've let many people down with my new thinking. I know it's not right. But I can't do it any more. I'm just so pooffed out that nothings matters more than my art nowadays. The week was so painful.

So much homework, no time for my favourite movies and TV programmes, no time for being happy, no time for drawing comics, no time for anything. I'm starting to show a "heck care" attitude towards homework and learning.

I hate the VA Program. It's so tiring that I find it a pain to listen to lessons in school with out fidgetting and doodling. I can't stand it any more. It's tearing me apart inside out.

My mind is in a reck. I'm afraid that my creativity will disappear forever. I don't want to study more than 7 hours a day!!! Why are they forcing all the students in Sec 4?!?! Please. I have a life.

I have this very precious life that I care and love so much. This life gave me the opportunity to create fantasies and draw my feelings and show the world what I've got. Please don't fill my mind with studies and studies and more useless studies..

I'm about to breakdown and turn over to the dark side. But I just won't. This VA Progran is taking everything away from me..

I was supposed to study today but I just can't. I know I sound like an idiot cos most of you study longer hours than me. But this is my life!!! I want to enjoy and live it to the fullest my own way!!

I sound so ridicious here. I also accidentally embarrassed myself in front of Joshua. It's torturing me mentally that I feel like running away from everything and suck myself into my fantasy far far away. And run there and hide forever.

But I can't. There's no escape. The walls are sealed and caving in.

I have a Common Test week next week where the school's going to test us what we have learnt last year and this few weeks of term 1. I'm gonna fail. I can feel it. It's my gut feeling that's usually right.

Tomorrow I'll try to study. I'll try.

Mustn't lose hope. My creativity won't be pushed to the unreachable depths of my consciousness to be forgotten forever, it's live as part of my living entity and it'll never fade.

I'll never stop drawing. Never. The minute I do, I'll no longer be who I am.